Marvelous Moments
I have had the best morning. Gray, Eli and myself just used this morning.....to be quiet. After Andy had a brief pep talk over the phone with our little man.....then 3 of us went outside and sat in my new swing. I could not have gotten a better Mother's Day present. A swing to spend time with my babies. Gray, Eli and myself sat down and spent around 10 minutes talking about Jesus. I read out loud to them from Psalms 23 and did my best to tell the meaning of this chapter toddler level. We talked about David and then also about how much Jesus loves us.
I read the following books to Eli and Gray: Underpants thunderpants!, Click, Clack, Moo Cows that Type, The Yellow Tutu, Corduroy's Sweet Surprise, Little Blue Truck Leads the Way I could not have had more fun sitting in the swing, in the quiet backyard, and hearing my babies giggle at the stories I was reading. There has been no sweeter time than reading with my toddlers and seeing their eyes light up with excitement.
Make time to sit in the quiet and just read to them....No matter how young. Children will treasure this time. I remember reading to Gray when she was an infant from the Bible. I would take a chapter at a time. They are listening, feeling and sensing your presence.
Also, turn off the TV. Allow your kiddos to play and learn how to play. Teach them that they can also read and discover just by sitting and looking at the books. In an age of strong technology your kids are going to be computer geniuses. Teach them to stay balanced. They need to know how to communicate and play. They need time to just discover what this wonderful life has to offer. They will not find nature by look at your Ipad. They desperately need time to walk on a path and talk about the leaves, the shapes, the colors. Every moment is a teaching opportunity and yes, I believe even a nature walk can be fun with your kids. We go on Hippo Hunts. Yes, Hippo Hunts. It's ok to pretend and have fun with your kids.
Harder moments with my kiddos
We discussed how Papa was very sick and he would one day be with Jesus. I feel very concerned about how they are going to handle my Daddy leaving this earth one day and going to be with Jesus. I talk with them often that one day Papa will be healed. Eli and Gray repeat it back to me. I don't know whether they will completely understand but I sure am trying to use Papa's wonderful life to explain that all of us will one day be with Jesus. We talk about our decisions that we make as we get older.....how e can make our own decision like Papa did to have Jesus live inside of our hearts. I will not let my Daddy's life be overlooked. I want Eli and Gray to know how much Papa has loved the Lord thru his life. I know this it what he would have wanted.
I struggle with the loss of my Daddy. Though his body is still present I feel like we have grieved every chapter of losing him piece by piece. Alzheimer's for a younger man is even more terrible than being diagnosed in your 80's or 90's in my opinion. The disease is terrible....period. I believe that having it in your 50s....it lasts so much longer because your physical body is still in such great shape. It takes so much longer for the disease to run its course.
I get mad (yes, mad) at times due to the loss of not having Daddy in my adulthood. I am grateful...beyond grateful that he was able to raise me with my precious Mamma. I just only wish I could have had the opportunity to enjoy him as my own family has grown. I know he would have traveled to Africa with Andy and I to joyfully meet Eli. He would have been our biggest cheerleader. I know he would have been there when we arrived back home...helping me to make adjustments into adding another child to our family. However, he was not. So I have to process life with losing the man I adored as a little girl. I have to seek out my Savior even more because my earthly father is slowly leaving our family. I have to bring the burden I carry to Jesus everyday. I am the sensitive....very tenderhearted girl that has felt this loss so deeply that I thought I wouldn't find my way out. I know the burden of losing Daddy is something I just cannot carry. My earthly body tries to carry the burden frequently and then I have to remind myself that it's not mine.
The price has already been paid. Because of Jesus giving His life on the cross. My Daddy will one day soon be resting in His arms. 'Til then all I know to do is pray and seek mercies for Daddy.
Thank you to all who continue to love on Daddy even in his much altered state. Thank you for visiting him and loving on him. Thank you for holding his hand and speaking truth to him. Thank you for singing to him. Thank you for talking to him as if nothing has changed. Thank you for loving him. Thank you for remembering my precious Mamma. Her pain has been the greatest and yes, the heaviest.
Her eartly mate is in pain and she is helpless. I cannot imagine. Thank you for loving my Mamma. All who have experiences this painful loss. Thank you for remembering her.
So I ask you to continue that His will be done. That Daddy would not be in pain and that you will pray for sweet mercies for Daddy
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