First, I want to praise our Heavenly Father. I am so grateful to be a child of God. Also, in that my Savior loved me enough and died for ME! That is worth praising every single moment that I breathe. I don't ever want to forget to praise HIM first instead of thanking Him at the end of my prayers.
Now referencing the title above...I almost giggle, laugh at how crazy of a ride we have been on in this adoption process. People are always asking us for updates. We are giving them as we best know how. We have one definition ourselves one day and then the next week we are saying something else. Trust me...we also feel as confused as you on just keeping up with our process. However, we have learned to accept it as the norm. We have learned to just trust and wait. Now I am not saying I am perfect in this area of trusting but there has been a lot of trust and letting go to allow our Heavenly Father to handle such a large task. Let go and Let God has been said a lot out of my mouth. Much humbling...on many a day especially on me! Mamma Bear's like to control things....so this has been a tough one for me. I will tell you every time I finally let something go....not kidding the next day we got an update on Eli. (I really mean it!)
We made the choice to choose a country in Africa that had not had many adoptions take place. So this means that requirements, documents, court dates, etc. may not "always" be definite from one day to the next. The Lord led us straight to the Democratic Republic of Congo so with that there are challenges in walking thru each process. However, this past year and the previous year the numbers in adoption are increasing in DRC. Yea God!
So you may ask me next.... Why would you go with a country that has so many unknown variables? I would say the following.... "Andy and I believe in our Lord, Jesus Christ. He is the Alpha, Omega, Beginning & End, He can move mountains, build up or tear down governments, He can change hearts and He gave HIS Son on the Cross...we know that the Lord asked us to follow him to DRC so we did." We just took the step of Faith in the name of Jesus that He would hold our hands in each and every step. Since I know my GOD can do all these things why would I have the audacity to say He couldn't. He can do ALL THINGS! There is no "if, and or but" in our sentences. It is HE CAN DO ALL THINGS!!!
I am grateful that the Lord has made me appreciate ...I mean really appreciate Him. As I was telling another adoptive mom last night that this process has taught me many things but one thing that stood out to me is that I have no fear in raising my hands or getting on my knees or even face flat in public praising Him. Before I was timid to do such a thing. Now it is an immediate reaction. I always kinda got tickled at people that would continue to say thank you Lawd(for you southerners) and raise their hands up. Well now I get it. I am grateful so my reaction is to show it with everything in me.....PRAISING HIM!
Lastly, I wanted to discuss how beautiful of a process it has been to work with our adoption agency, CCI, and our home study group, Catholic Charities. They have helped us and guided us thru some very confusing processes and we are forever grateful for their endless energy to help us bring our baby home.
As I was speaking with Sister "C" yesterday from CCI I thanked her for allowing me to ask ...over and over if there was an update on E man. She has graciously, every time replied even if the answer was "no update." I told her that I needed to be allowed to fight for my child as at times I feel helpless in the process being thousands of miles away. "Please just let me ask," I said. She said she understood because she has adopted children herself. I told her that I needed to know that with every breath in me I would fight for him...that I would fight for our son, Eli. She and I got choked up discussing how mommyhood calls you to these things. Fatherhood does as well I just think in a different way. Mamma Bears are protective of their cubs. God made us that way....I just have to know that with in my heart and soul that God will allow me to do this(to fight for my children) if He is in control at all times.
Also, how amazing has it been that I could cry on the phone with Sister "C" that I get the gospel now...That I knew it before and could tell you all about it. Now, I feel it within my bones that Jesus was teaching Andy and I another perspective on how much He loves us. He wanted us to know that we are all adopted, thankfully, in the name of Jesus. We rejoiced together about how much our Father loves us!
I thank everyone for the prayers. I have called on you to have you pray for specific things in our adoption process for months now. I have not taken it lightly that the Lord is also allowing others to be on this journey with us. I have seen love from those that don't know us very well. They love us because they love Jesus...so it just naturally overflows from their souls. We thank you for allowing the Holy Spirit flow thru you and teach us that giving is contagious.
We wait in pure excitement for E man's "gotcha day" and look forward to rejoicing with you in our Father's name!
***On a side note: I have received many questions from people about how Gray was handling all this upcoming change. So here is my best attempt to answer your questions. She is just 2 so I think she can only grasp so much. Some of the precious moments with her have been when we have gone to Eli's room and she points out to us his bed, his books and his teddy. She also points to Eli's picture in our home and says "brother." We are forever grateful for her precious soul and her protective nature that is already being exhibited over her brother. She and Eli will be in the same grade together so they will be quite attached at the hip I imagine. We also took great consideration into how this process would make her feel. We know as with adding a new baby in the family that their are always challenges and sometimes none at all. Our family is going to be unique which will in return teach Gray that we love, because He first loved us.
While Andy and I will be in Africa to bring E man home, Gray will be with my super, duper sista, Gayle. If you are wondering if Gray will be neglected at all...I seriously doubt it. Her cousins have already been marking their calendars(and blocking months at a time to make sure they were available) to help care for her and help entertain her. (I am not kidding) She is going to have a wonderful time with her cousins, her Gigi (Gayle), and Uncle Jason. Their gift to us has been volunteering to care for Gray so that we could bring our son home! We will be forever grateful for their love for us and helping us to be able to bring Eli home with both his Mommy & Daddy! Thank you Gigi & Jason!
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